Madeleine's Big Day

Madeleine had a great day today - full of lots of adventures and experiences and even some interesting characters.

First, it was time to wake up and start our day!





Then, she got bundled up to help mommy take daddy to work since he can't drive right now.






Then, it was time for baby yoga class. A television crew from a local TV station was in the yoga studio filming for a segment that will run in April - Hannah reports that they spent a lot of their time filming Madeleine! Now, if we can just leverage that into some commercial deals for her. Perhaps Gerber needs a new baby.....



Then, Uncle Jimmy came over for dinner.

Once again, Uncle Jimmy exceeded expectations. Hannah left to go to the gym, and, as usual, Madeleine began fussing within moments of her departure. She even resorted to red-faced screaming when her daddy tried to soothe her. But Uncle Jimmy took her was able to rock her to sleep - much to my shock and consternation.

He even coaxed a sleepy smile out of our sleeping beauty.

After Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Rachel left, it was daddy's turn to try to calm the little one down using the patented Super Baby technique.

Baby Health Update

We've had an interesting last 48 hours or so with Madeleine. Late Sunday, she started fussing more than usual. We thought it was bad gas and/or constipation. By Monday morning, it had turned into abnormally ear popping and inconsolable crying, making us think that she was in actual pain.

It got bad enough that Hannah called the after hours number for our pediatrician. The doctor on duty told us to bring her in today but to take her to the emergency room if the hardcore crying persisted.

Thankfully, the little one was able to sleep a bit more last night, so there wasn't a return trip to the ER. But Hannah took her in for her first "sick visit" to the pediatrician this morning. The "sick visit" side of the doctor's office was filled with kids with bad colds and flus ('tis the season) and at one point Hannah was worried about one child who looked like he was going to projectile vomit into Madeleine's carseat.

Once she got in to see the doctor, things moved quickly since they wanted to get Madeleine away from all the sick kids as soon as possible. So, while they weighed her (now up to 12.5 pounds!) they didn't measure her (daddy's using the measuring tape later tonight).

Bottom line - the doctor thinks her reflux is bothering her and gave Hannah a prescription for an antacid. This would explain the increased spitting up that we've seen along with the increased gas and bowel irritability. They want to see her again in another week for her regularly scheduled 2-month checkup, when she has to get 5 shots (ouch!).

A Potential Breakthrough in the Sleep Wars

I don't want to jinx us, but we have had more success in the sleep wars lately and in weaning her off the car seat. We're using a new sleep positioner in conjunction with a Moses basket (generously on loan from Melissa and Barry), so we're getting both the elevation and the enveloping effect of the carseat but in a more neck-friendly way.

Hannah reports that we've gotten 5 hours of straight sleep out of her twice this week.




Aunt Janeen came over to babysit Madeleine and I today -- she's a pretty effective baby sleep inducer too!

Medical Update

Saw the doctor today about my boo boo. Good news and bad news.

Good news: Everything looks good to the doctor and we're right on track. They took the old cast off (see picture here) and took the stitches out, and he said it's healing fine. We also now have some specific dates for the next phase of this business. The cast comes off on March 20 and two weeks later (April 3) I'll be crutch free. I also already have an appointment with the physical therapist for March 26 to begin that process.

Bad news: The new cast is every bit as big and cumbersome as the old one. This means no driving (to be clear - I am medically cleared to drive as long as I brake with my left foot but due to my height I don't think I can operate the gas pedal safely). After $60 in roundtrip cab fares for today's checkup, that could add up after awhile. It's also a little less comfortable (a relative term) because this one puts my foot at a 90 degree angle all the time.

But I did order the new one in the racy black with white accents on the edges.

Meanwhile, in the "kick them while they're down" camp, some of my colleagues have taken to calling me "Gimp." Pre-1994, that would have been fine. But in 1994, a certain movie came out which forever changed the connotations associated with the word "gimp." At least they're not calling me "The Gimp" I guess.

Or "lousy gimp," which is what my wife teasingly labeled me when I gave her the readout from the doctor!

"New" Pictures of Madeleine

Among her many other talents, our friend Sarah is an excellent photographer. When Madeleine was about two weeks old, she had us over to her studio for a photo shoot. As you can see below, the results are slightly better than the photos that I've been taking with my slightly non-professional camera.

The photo shoot was Sarah's baby shower gift to us. Of course, I think it also might have been motivated out of guilt because of the fact that her husband is the person who is second-most responsible for all my sports injuries over the last 13 years!

Regardless, and despite the obvious challenge of having to shoot me in some of these photos, they turned out beautifully - check out her website for more at http://www.sarahmattingly.com

One of Those Days

Today is a federal holiday, so I'm home playing a one-legged Mr. Mom.

My car has this really cool feature that allows you to sync a cell phone to it using Bluetooth. When you receive a phone call while driving, it turns the stereo down, pumps the phone call audio over the car's speakers, and lets you talk via a built-in speakerphone. More and more cars are offering this feature these days but this was quite cutting edge when we bought it. One of the things I've noticed is that, if I walk more than 30 feet away from the car, my cellphone will display a message saying "Bluetooth signal lost" indicating that the car and the phone have become disconnected from each other because they're too far away.

Madeleine has a Bluetooth connection to Hannah.

One of the things I've learned in my six whole weeks of being a parent is that babies are a lot more aware of their surroundings than we give them credit for. If Hannah goes more than 30 feet away from her and I'm still around, an internal alarm clock goes off in precisely 10 minutes. This internal alarm clock wakes her up and also sends her subliminal messages to:

• Get really, really hungry
• Fake poohs to encourage daddy to inspect for dirty diapers multiple times
• Cry inconsolably despite feedings, changings, burpings, and every other form of human stimulation

The only way to hit Madeleine's reset button is for Hannah to come home. So, for the 2-4 hours that I am typically with her, I get the full-on effect of The Monster. For the uninitiated, The Monster is the term we use (Hannah came up with it) for the little one when she fusses and cries despite us exhausting literally every trick in the book 3-4 times over a course of multiple hours. In Madeleine's defense, The Monster is not a daily sighting around our house - usually just 2-3 times per week. But in my paranoia, I have come to believe that those times universally happen when Hannah leaves me alone with her.

Today, The Monster is out in full force. Ten minutes after Hannah left, the sleeper awoke. I had a bottle handy. Three sips later, she was asleep again. Five minutes later, she's up again. Try more of the bottle - she pushes it away. She starts doing the leg stretch and red face that she likes to do when attempting a Number Two. I check the diaper. Nothing. Two more minutes on the bottle and she's back to sleep. I try to put her down. I no sooner pull my hand away than she's up again.

This cycle has literally been repeating itself for three straight hours. During that time, she's easily had her diaper checked 4 times (one change for a small #1) and she's had probably 8 offers of the bottle. She's been burped, held, played with, spoken to, rocked - everything I can do on one leg. Nothing is working!

My mom called with an interesting theory - perhaps Madeleine got addicted to the attention she received from a week's worth of grandparental visitors.

That's a good theory. Of course, it could just be that this is one of those days. Today started off on the wrong foot when all 3 smoke detectors in our place went off at the same time shortly after 9:00 AM. To make the experience extra special, they are all literally 5 feet from one another and one of them is in the baby's room, which means that it's further amplified throughout the unit by the baby monitor.

Thankfully, there was no fire and Madeleine didn't join in the shrieking. But, since I am not going to be hopping up on chairs to change lightbulbs or check smoke detector batteries anytime soon, thank goodness Hannah was home. She had to come sprinting out of the shower to pull the detectors off the ceiling wearing just a wet towel.

The smoke detectors going off randomly in our unit is, unfortunately, a regular occurrence. We've certainly set them off ourselves by cooking something a little too earnestly in the kitchen, so we're extra careful about opening windows when we're using a skillet or the broiler. But 9 times out of 10 (and it's literally happened 10 or so times since we moved in here in 2005), they go off without explanation.

It's not the batteries (less than 2 months old and no warning "chirp" beforehand). And the weird thing is that they are 3 different brands of smoke detectors. But something has to be setting them off. Perhaps one is defective and it trips the other two?

So, just what we need - another project around the house!

The Grandparental Trifecta

Madeleine successfully completed her back-to-back-to-back grandparental visits yesterday. And she's 6 for 6 on capturing the hearts of the AARP crowd in our family.

We had a great visit with Grandma Mary and Grandpa Steve. They were smitten as the little girl turned on all of her charms. Hard to say - between Grandma Mary, Grandpa Tom or Grandma Kay - which one of the grandparents has set the world speed record for the shortest time from hitting our front door to having baby in arms (it's about 4.3 seconds on average).


We really put the old people to work this weekend. Not only did they make some excellent home cooked meals (and bussed tables too), but they also hung the beautiful quilt that Grandma Molly and Grandpa Tom sent us above the baby's crib. Madeleine loves to stare at it when she's in the crib, which is great in our book!

The latest visitors were the grandparents from Florida. They sent us a beautiful oriental rug that we're using in the living room, and we've moved the rug that was in there into the baby's room. But somewhere during the move our rug fasteners were misplaced, so when Mr. Crutches went into the baby's room for the first time, we almost had a major disaster. Thankfully, Grandpa Steve and Hannah found some nice fasteners at Target and now I can hobble around with abandon.

We had another Bunny Bear sighting.

There was also a sighting of what I call "Super Baby" but my mom calls "Baby Angel" (trust me - after an appearance of The Monster this morning, I'm right on this one).

The grandparents also got to witness the human drama and pathos of me getting down the stairs as we prepared to go to the airport.

Technical Difficulties

Halfway through posting this morning, with new videos and photos, I received an error message saying that Google (which owns Blogger) had determined that I had characteristics of a computer virus or a spammer.

I've been called a lot of things, but as they say where I'm from, "Them's fightin' words." Looks like I'm not the only one to have been called these hateful words, though, and apparently I'm not the only one who experienced these problems today.

After an hour of pulling my hair out and getting generally ticked off, the system suddenly let me back in. So I'm going to try to post again in a few minutes but, if something goes wrong, bear with me.

Revolving Door of Old People

Madeleine has been enjoying the revolving door of old people who have been coming in to keep her company. Her second set of grandparental visitors this week said goodbye tonight, but the third set comes in tomorrow in the form of Grandma and Grandpa G.

Madeleine was not happy when Grandma Kay and Grandpa Bob said goodbye, but she was very pleased to know that they very thoughtfully offered to take the Pack'n'Play with them to Florida. So, it will be there when Madeleine visits next month.

In the meantime, we're continuing to make slow but steady progress on weaning her off the carseat. She's also fallen asleep on daddy twice this week during tummy time, so maybe she's starting to resign herself to that too.

Madeleine has been helping to speed my recovery by keeping me company on the couch and giving me an occasional smile. She also loves holding hands.

On the boo boo front, I've managed to make it into work the last two days. My office isn't exactly ergonomically designed for elevating my legs for an extended period of time - and my leg was definitely barking at me by the end of the day yesterday, but we're making it work. Everyone at work has been very supportive - thanks especially to Colby for the transportation assistance and to Carol for the Valentine's Day assist!

The biggest challenge of getting to and from work is getting up and down the stairs. I literally have to sit on each step and skooch myself up or down on my derriere - and to skooch across the 3 landings that are involved as well. Then, when I get outside, there are 4 more steps to navigate - generally by hopping on my good leg unless there's an ice storm like we had this week. Thankfully, we live on the 3rd (top) floor of our building to make things extra fun.

By the time I'm done with the stairs, I'm exhausted. I've also learned that the human hand is not really ideally designed as a weight bearing device since my hands are swollen and bruised from crutching around.

But hey, at least this didn't happen to me (yet)!

Also, further to my earlier post about finding solace in the stories of other torn Achilles sufferers, we have a new winner for best story from my friend Chris.

On the Mend

A quick update - went to the doctor today. He left me in the big cast but cut out a piece of it to inspect his handiwork from last week. It was my first time seeing the scar - long (more than 3 inches),, kind of S shaped and ugly. At least I'll have a story to tell Madeleine some day when she says, "Daddy, why does your leg look like that?"

While they were cutting out the back of the cast, they actually cut a little too far through the cast and I could feel the drill against my leg. Although it looked really sharp, it must've been as dull as a butter knife because it didn't break the skin. But it did freak me out for a minute!

The doc says that things look good and he'll take the stitches out next week - he also said that he'll put me into a less cumbersome cast at the same time. Can't wait.

Tried to get out to vote in the Virginia presidential primary today but, by the time we were back from the doctor's office and ready to go, an ice storm had started. We gave it the old college try but, after watching Hannah (who has two functioning legs) almost take a header on our front steps, we decided that discretion was the better part of valor and we abandoned the attempt. The last thing this family needs right now is two people with bad legs! So, our preferred candidate will probably be getting a check from us in lieu of our votes today - with the way politics is these days, they'd probably prefer the check.

Madeleine has been a trooper throughout. She went with mommy to drop daddy off at the doctor's office, had a lovely visit to the Heidelberg Bakery, and was all dressed up to go to the polling station with mommy and daddy before they made the weather call. She got a little fussy when we returned home but she's very excited to see Grandma Kay and Grandpa Bob, who just arrived.

One day at a time. One day at a time.

Trolling for Fellow Idiots and Other Observations

I'm home again today. Can't seem to go for more than 10 minutes on the crutches without the foot swelling up, which is consistent with what the doctor predicted but not consistent with getting into the office today. I'm supposed to keep it elevated as much as possible - again, not consistent with going to work or parenting. Perhaps when I see the doctor tomorrow he can give me some better anti-inflammatories than the 3 Advils I pop every 3-4 hours.

In the meantime, I've been trolling the blogosphere for fellow Achilles sufferers. Here's what I've found:

• Here's a story of someone who did it slipping on an icy stair
• Here's a basketball injury - I take more pride in the fact that I walked off the field after my boo boo after reading this account (although I will confess that I almost did this when i got to the sideline and one of the guys tried to show me how to do the Thompson's test)
• Karate seems like a good way to do it too
• How about running on the beach? (warning: graphic pictures of the post-surgical scar here)
• This lady did it slipping at work
• I can't do this story justice

So maybe I'm less of an idiot than I thought I was. Maybe I'm in really good company. Or maybe there's a conspiracy out there to maim relatively active 30somethings. But I'm still thinking that my physical activities may be limited to the gym for awhile.

Meanwhile, here are a few more random parenting thoughts:

• This comment on our blog was written by my 87 year-old grandmother. Although not connected to the internet herself, she goes across the street to a neighbor's house on a surgically replaced knee to check out our blog (making her more mobile than me!). How cool is that? Way to go, Grummy!
• Thanks to Suburban Mommy - the little one is sound asleep on the Boppy right next to me now AND getting tummy time at the same time (don't worry, I'm watching her like a hawk). Talk about killing two birds with one stone!
• Thanks to our friend Melissa B - we've found a service that will help us to handle all the taxes and payroll paperwork when we get our babysitting situation finalized - what a relief!
• We think Madeleine may have developed an addiction to Grandpa Tom's tummy - Grandpa Bob, beware!

Bloggin' From (and Out?) My Backside

Six weeks ago, I became a parent. For the next six weeks, I am a baby. That's basically how the last few days have gone. I'm not sure exactly what I expected from the surgery, but I thought I would be a bit more mobile and useful than I've turned out to be.

The bottom line is that I've got two crutches and a cast and under no circumstances can I put weight on the bad wheel. I was able to fix dinner tonight by ordering groceries from Peapod and then having Hannah move our Herman Miller chair into the kitchen so I could wheel around (I'm making a lovely Irish stew in the slow cooker). And I was able to change a particularly nasty diaper standing on one leg - although Hannah had to help when I discovered that the outfit had been compromised.

But in general, I am a big liability. Hannah has had to do almost everything from normal baby care to some of my normal duties like taking out the trash and even meal preparation. While she is legendarily patient and understanding, my worthlessness has even tested her mettle.

Taking care of the little one is a challenge because of her increasing need for stimulation. When Hannah's out, we move the little one and a fully-stocked diaper bag out to the living room so I can do everything from the couch. But she needs more and more stimulation every day and I think she gets bored pretty quickly with the scenery from the couch.

When Hannah's here, unfortunately, I'm probably even less useful to her than when she's away because I get in the way and can't do some relatively basic things. And, I'm still kind of bummed out about the boo boo so I'm not my normal, chipper self - meaning that she has to care for two babies sometimes.

So, we've put out the APB to our friends in the area who have offered to help with babysitting - we're definitely cashing in those offers now. Suburban Mommy (our friend Meredith) came over for lunch the other day and stuck around when Hannah went in the office - she was a lifesaver and taught daddy a few more tricks to use at tummy time.

Bottom line - I was hoping that being laid up would be a little more like this and this but it's turning out to be more like this and this. [Yes, I know that 1) while Hannah can hold her own with Grace Kelly, I look more like this Stuart than Jimmy Stewart; and 2) I'm not rooting for anything bad to befall the neighbors while I'm laid up.]

Can't wait for the calendar to turn to April!

Bonding Time With Grandpa and Grandma B

Madeleine enjoyed her visit with her B family grandparents. She found Grandpa's tummy to be quite addictive and would sleep on him for hours at a time. Thankfully, Grandpa was happy to oblige! (Unfortunately, Grandpa's tummy is not a long-term replacement for the car seat)


















Due to my boo boo, this wasn't the most "active" visit we have ever had with Grandma and Grandpa, but they were very patient with me and very content hanging out with my girls.


Although it had been a few years (36 in my dad's case) since they handled a creature this small, both grandparents survived the weekend with minimal damage to their clothing. And, she also managed to give Grandma and Grandpa lots of smiles. She thought Grandma was hilarious!

Grandparentpalooza and Baby Yoga

This weekend, Grandpa Tom and Grandma Molly are visiting. On Tuesday, Grandpa Bob and Grandma Kay come for a few days on their way to Florida. And then, next weekend, Grandpa Steve and Grandma Mary come for a visit.

So we're having a veritable Grandparentpalooza around here. Yet despite the bumper crop of Medicare-eligible people in our home, I'm the one needing assistance with the stairs - how messed up is that?

As it turns out, Grandpa Tom has turned out to be a champion baby soother - his inveterate need to shuffe his feed apparently creates the perfect rocking motion for the baby.

Meantime, Hannah has been taking Madeleine to baby yoga classes and applying the lessons learned here at home too - Madeleine loves yoga.

Daddy Is An Idiot III: The Return of the Idiot King

So, I had the surgery today. The doctor told Hannah that it went well (I was still too drugged up to process information at that point). Then - the kicker came - not only am I in a cast and on crutches for the next 6 weeks, but I literally cannot put any weight on my foot during that time. While I was generally worthless as a father before the injury, I am now officially not only worthless, but actually a liability.

Being raised Catholic (and today being Ash Wednesday), I am experiencing two primary emotions right now: 1) a desire for my wife to be canonized; and 2) a profound case of Catholic guilt over the unintended consequences of my boo boo.

Hannah and I have always talked about having two kids, but we wanted to space them out a little bit. Now, poor Hannah has to care for two babies. One is cute and cuddly and occasionally fussy. The other one is big and ugly and whiny. But both can be crybabies.

To answer one FAQ about my boo boo, no, it really didn't have anything to do with my playing football per se "at my age" (officially 36 Friday - happy friggin' birthday to me!). The doctor told me that this injury could have happened playing any sport that involves sudden jumping, lunging, or sprinting - including tennis, racquetball, basketball, volleyball, soccer, or even baseball.

Since I am a weekend warrior athlete in my mid-30's with flat feet, I do have a few more risk factors than some. But the doctor told me that I was the fifth new Achilles patient he's taken in this month and that there's not much I could have done to prevent it - in fact , 3 of his 5 new Achilles patients were playing tennis.

That being said, I am prepared to seriously reconsider my choice of activities for staying in shape. I love playing sports and I get far more mental stimulation from sports than staring at the TV on the treadmill at the gym. But I never, ever want to go through what I've had to go through over the last 72 hours - and what I'll have to go through for the next 6 months.

It would be one thing if I was 25 and single. But now, my inability to take some of the parenting burden off of Hannah is putting more of a strain on her (Madeleine was up 4 times last night as we've tried to wean her off the car seat). And, I can't do some fairly basic things with the little girl like walking around with her from one room to another since I have two crutches. When Hannah went to the gym tonight, we had to turn the couch into my rehab center, the baby's changing table, and the feeding station - so everything was within arm's reach in case Madeleine had needs.

So, I feel awful about the whole situation. The only good thing to come out of today was that the little girl was an angel. She's starting to smile a lot more these days when she's happy. Everyone at the surgical center loved her (Hannah and Madeleine were in with me while the drugs were kicking in). It was strange role reversal considering that, five weeks ago, Hannah was the one wearing the gown that doesn't fully cover your backside and getting the epidural.

But at least Hannah had something cute to show for her labors!

Daddy is an Idiot - Part II

Further to my earlier post, I went to the orthopaedist today and confirmed my fears - I have managed to tear or "rupture" my Achilles tendon.

So, tomorrow morning, I get to have surgery to repair my boo boo. For the next 6 weeks, I will be in a cast and on crutches. Then, for two more weeks, just the crutches. Then, I get to start physical therapy. The earliest I can play sports again (if allowed to do so by my spouse) - 6 months. All I can say is - "****!"

My biggest worry is what this means on the home front. Will I be able to move my daughter from room to room while using crutches? Taking her for a stroll is out of the question. Half of my baby soothing tricks are out the window now. Now, not only am I a lousy husband, but I'm also a lousy dad!

I'm hoping last night wasn't a preview of things to come. Hannah went to the gym shortly after I got home from work. About 10 minutes after she left, The Monster appeared when Madeleine started fussing (as she has the last 4 times Hannah left me alone with her). So, I go through the usual checklist - feeding, changing, burping, alleviating boredom. Nothing was working and she was getting more and more agitated. So I went through the list again, to no avail. Mind you, getting her into the other room to visit the changing table or changing the scenery for the girl involves me literally hopping on one leg. And the whole time, she's getting more and more agitated.

Finally, I gave up and attempted to let her cry it out. You can imagine how well that went. When Hannah finally returned about 2 hours after leaving, the little one was completely screaming her head off. And, as soon as she heard mommy's voice, she turned into a little angel.

I have a bad feeling that these next two months are going to be rough.

Activity Central

The little one has been in need of so much stimulation lately that she's even put up with tummy time a little more constructively than in the past.

Miscellaneous Musings from the Weekend

A few other random musings from this weekend:

Trying different tools to achieve happiness: As she builds up immunity to our initial basket of tricks, we've had to try new approaches - and sometimes use things we have around the house for purposes for which they weren't designed. One example is the Boppy. Originally intended as a positioning pillow to help mom and baby achieve a comfortable feeding position, we've also found that it works as the rough equivalent of Madeleine's Barcalounger.

Uncle Jimmy has an unexpected paternal side: No one would have ever guessed it, but Uncle Jimmy has a surprisingly paternal side. Within five minutes of arriving for dinner last night, Uncle Jimmy was demanding to hold Madeleine, regardless of the potential consequences to his nice black shirt.

Madeleine is too kissable for her own good: The doctor has told us, as recently as a week ago Friday, that he doesn't want Madeleine having visitors. His specific concern - during cold and flu season, he doesn't want people "sliming" her (direct quote) because people are "basically just walking germ bags to her right now" (another direct quote).

Now, neither of us ever wanted to be those parents, so we've come up with a modified policy for people who meet Madeleine.

• Look, but don't touch
• Use Purell
• Don't stick your finger (or anything else) in her mouth
• "No kisses for the time being" (another direct quote from the doctor, although daddy intends to keep this policy until she is 22)

For most people, the policy seems to work. Aunt Maria, though, is really suffering from withdrawal over the last point because, let's face it, Madeleine is very kissable. Last night, Aunt Maria got the most pathetic look when she asked if she could give Madeleine a kiss. Instead, she settled for rubbing cheeks with her, which reminded daddy of how cats mark territory. Mommy and daddy have to confess - we have also been hard pressed to obey the "no kisses" directive to the letter of the law.

Daddy is an idiot: Every Sunday from Labor Day through the Pro Bowl, the greatest football players on earth gather to compete at the highest level of the game. A few hours before their games kick off, a group of 30-40 somethings in Northern Virginia gather to play football at a not-quite-so-elite level.

For almost 13 years now, I've been playing flag football with the same core group of guys. This has been great since our skills and physiques are deteriorating at roughly the same rate, so there aren't a bunch of kids fresh out of college running circles around us.

Over the years, though, I have also managed to have a significant injury almost on an annual basis - from broken fingers to torn hamstrings to ankle sprains. Most recently, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, I managed to add another boo boo to the mix. But, stubbornly, I've still gone out and played whenever I was physically able to do so.

This was going to be my last time out during the season since we have grandparental visits coming up the next two weekends. But, I wasn't throwing caution to the wind - I woke up early, took a hot shower, stretched a lot, and made a number of other concessions to old age. So imagine my surprise when, on the first defensive series of the game, I managed to do something to my Achilles tendon while rushing the quarterback. I heard a big popping sound and a sensation in my ankle that felt as close to a gunshot as I ever hope to get. So, no more football or this season.

I'm icing it now and we'll see how things play out over the next 24 hours but a trip back to the orthopedist is probably on the docket for this week (it's a shame they don't have a frequent limper program).

But, whereas my November boo boo pretty much just impacted me, I am faced with a broader set of consequences now. First, the afternoon stroll that my wife and I had planned with Madeleine is out of the question. Second, one of the techniques we've developed for soothing the little one involves a lot of walking around the house and rocking her - also unlikely in the near future. Finally, this episode has underscored to my wife that I am, in fact, an idiot who should probably not be trusted around our child.

Perhaps, as Hannah and Grandma Mary have been telling me for years, I'm getting too old for this ****.

A Weekend of Lessons Learned

Well, so far it's been an interesting weekend full of lessons learned.

First, we're trying to "break" her of the car seat since one of our prospective babysitters told us a horror story about another family whose child had to go through physical therapy because his neck was messed up from too much time in the car seat.

So, of course, our experiment in reintroducing the Snuggle Nest has completely destroyed the sleep routine - to the point that we went back to the car seat again last night.

Still, I have found some rewarding things about trying to con my daughter into sleeping. She likes to be spoken to when she's drifting off, so here's a video of that process as daddy tries to bring out her inner "Sweet Girl" (instead of The Monster).

We spent some time interviewing a prospective babysitter. We may have found a winner but I am still struggling with some conflicting information that we've received on the tax implications. At this point, we're literally looking at 4 hours per week to start - from what I gather, if we're spending more than $1600 per year on her, we need to do withholding and set up an employer ID number with the IRS. But others have assured us that if it's less than 10 hours per week, you don't need to do withholding - although I cannot find a single reputable source to back that up. And, of course, we need to make sure that the prospective nanny is legal. So, there's another research project for daddy.

We've also had our first encounter with constipation. We haven't had any poo sightings since Friday. Baby 411 assures us that this is not abnormal, but you can tell that she's really trying to conduct some business. The recommended solution? According to Baby 411, it's to insert the rectal thermometer - what the book describes as "the most dispensed phone advice by any pediatrician's office."

Hannah informed me that I would get to do the honors on this one. Now, in thinking through the logistics of this, I would rather cut off my finger than stick something up my daughter's rectum. But, after seeing her little face after she tried to have #2 without success this morning, I decided to take action. And actually, it went more smoothly than I thought. While we were there, we also took the time to assure ourselves that her temperature is normal (99.5 - normal for an infant).

And, while Pooh Watch is still ongoing, she doesn't appear too traumatized by the experience.

(p.s. Oh yeah, this technique worked big time!)